A Lyric Playlet

A Lyric Playlet in One Scene

or Opus 15, My First Contribution to the Christmas Tradition.

Joseph (J.) (soon-to-be step-father of God) and his old lady Mary (M.), who is majorly preggers in every way, both in rags, approach a door. The words "Ye Last Chance Inn" appear above it. After a few knocks the Innkeeper (I.) appears and this conversation ensues.

J.: Innkeeper - please don't let us down -

We've tried every other inn in town!!

As you see my wife is miles around

And soon her Son'll drop to the ground!

I.: What, are you nuts? Haven't you yet been

Made aware that "there's no room at the inn"?

J.: But Sir, though, our taxes paid, now we are poor,

Couldn't you just let us crash `hind your door?

I.: I'd like to be kind but the rich folks have said

"Don't be lettin' no poor folks have a bed."

And the rich folks pay the bills - so it is -

You know we've got to look out after our biz.

M.: Oh - Ohhh - Ah - Ahhh - Oh - Ohhh - Ohhh - Ohhh!

Oh - Ohhh - Ah - Ahhh - Oh - Ohhh - Ohhh - Ohhh!

High-pitched Voice from Mary's Stomach:

Oh let me be born in a warm room Sir!

I won't even mind if it's only a manGER!

J.: Oh no! My wife Mary is about to give birth

to a most important Baby for all planet Earth!

I'll ask one more time, for whatever it's worth

Can you give me, her, and your God a berth?

Else we'll be homeless all the night long

And to do that to God would surely be wrong.

I.: You're "homeless"? Why didn't you say so before?

I had presumed you just disgustingly poor!

Our company policy says there are enough

Grounds for me to offer you free stuff.

So what'll it be: T-shirts, chips, fuzzy dice?

Travel mugs, baseball caps, boxes of instant rice?

Ash trays, fanny packs, hand-painted coasters?

No folks I'm sorry we don't carry toasters.

You want the chips? Here you go and from me

a couple of cigs.

Now both of you get jobs if you really

want good digs.

Offstage Voice:

And so it might have been if then were now.

They say times are better but I'm not sure how.

Finis

-Merry Christmas!- © Dr. Wes Browning