Sunday, January 16, 2011

Contrite Hitler Apologizes Tearfully; Book Deal Next?

[from 5/12/10]

I'm trying to understand the reactions of my fellow Seattleites to the "I'll beat the [expletive f-word] Mexican [expletive p-word] out of you homey" story. As we all know now, Gang Unit Officer Shandy Cobane said such words to an unarmed Hispanic-looking suspect lying in compliance on the ground, whose entire resistance to arrest consisted of saying he hadn't done anything. Then Officer Cobane kicked the man for resisting so much, or for looking Mexican, or for being in view on a Saturday, or who knows why. Then, another Seattle officer stomped on the man's leg. Then, they all figured out the man actually HADN'T done anything, and let him go.

My fellow Seattleites reacted to this with, "How could our police get away with using such offensive language?" The uproar about the offensiveness of Officer Cobane's language was so great that he was trotted out before cameras to tearfully apologize for his bad mouth. This apology came swiftly, if, by "swiftly", you only count the time from the broad public dissemination of the reporter's video of the event, and not the time from the event itself (3 whole weeks).

Does everybody in Seattle keep their brains on their dressers at home in formaldehyde, just to bring out for show at parties?

This just in: Hitler has been found alive and well, running Adolf's "Blitz" Storm Door and Marriage Counseling Service near Pissatchoo, WA. He was confronted yesterday in Seattle with a video juxtaposing images of 1945 concentration camp victims being buried in a mass grave with him making speeches offensive to Jews. Mr. Hitler was overcome with remorse, and told the Seattle audience "I know my words cut deep and were very hurtful. Please know that I am truly, truly sorry." He went on to promise that, if allowed to direct the affairs of a modern nation again (in spite of his advanced age), he would arrange for the slaughter of its unwanted people with decency and dignity, using respectful language at all times. Seattleites, although calling for an investigation, we're nevertheless impressed by the deep shame Mr. Hitler showed for using improper language while exterminating a people.

Doesn't anybody out there know what the word "offensive" means anymore? Are you all too busy demanding that Mexicans learn English to take the time to learn it yourselves, and how to think with it?

"Offensive" = relating to an offense or an attack. It concerns attack, primarily. It can also refer to insult, but note that the original meaning of insult was also to attack. Literally, "in-sult" - leap upon, assault.

WHY IS IT EVER WRONG TO INSULT PEOPLE? This isn't a rhetorical question, Seattle, this is homework. The question being asked here is, what is the purpose of avoiding the use of so-called offensive language? Wherein lies the offense? Is it just so you don't have to make tearful apologies at press conferences? Is it so that you don't hurt the feelings of the people you kick in the head? Or is there another reason you haven't thought of? [HINT: There is another reason. Find it.]

Can anyone at all anymore distinguish the concepts "derogatory" and "offensive?"  Is there more than 30% of the population that can even parse the situation at hand well enough to realize that calling someone a Mexican is not an insult in any sense of the word at all? That the insult came from the identification of that nationality with waste fluids, not simply from making a personal identification?

Questions to Further Put Down Seattle

1. True or False (reading comprehension): The author is a bleeding heart liberal, who thinks it's never OK to beat a man who's down and not posing a threat to anyone.

2. Essay question (critical thinking): If someone's feeling was that it's OK to beat someone when they're down and not a threat, would it ever be OK to hurt that feeling?

3. Which are more important? Feelings, or people? Think carefully before answering.

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